Its In His Kiss
by buckice
Summary: Post Gwen and Gavin. Lorelai and Luke rethink the past night’s conversation and what they’re going to do about it. [one shot with two chapters] Reedited for changes in POV.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Post Gwen and Gavin. Lorelai and Luke rethink the past night's conversation and what they're going to do about it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: This is for all who wanted a story with Luke alive. Hope you like it.

**It's In His Kiss**

There are just some things I can depend on in my life. There are things I'm certain of. I could make a list of them. Yet lately it seems that list is getting shorter and shorter. Rory. She's the dependable one. And just as I was thinking about crossing her off my list, she came back to me. She'll always be at the top of the list. If I made that list today, tonight, she might be the only thing on it. And that breaks my heart. And this song is breaking my heart, stupid Bangles. Eternal Flame? Are you kidding me?

"Lor?" I hear from downstairs. Wow, I was so deep in thought, I never even heard a knock or a doorbell. Maybe he didn't do any of that. "Lor?" Shit, I'd better answer before he comes up and realizes I'm… well… I'd better go downstairs.

I get up out of the bed I've shared with Luke and turn off the music. Maybe that was it, maybe the Bangles were too loud. Stop it Lorelai. I run down the stairs and find Chris standing there.

"Chris? I thought that was you but I, well, I don't remember the last time you were here and, well, I just didn't expect you," I stutter. Chris chuckles. "Where's your daughter?"

"With my mom. Where's yours?"

"Ours," I remind him. He nods, shoving his hands in his pockets. "She's at Yale, remember? That school you're spending so much on?"

"Yeah, I figured. It's just that it's Saturday night, and I know she sometimes comes home on Saturday night," he comments. I have to think for a moment. Was she here today? No, no she left. This afternoon maybe? Ay, Lorelai, just answer the damn question!

"She was, she left. Laundry's done." I smile to suggest that I'm joking.

"Oh, well, I just stopped by to make sure she got the message that I got the Yale payment in and on time."

"On time, wow. Well I'm sure she'll be impressed."

"Haha, you jest." He smiles at me for a moment and I fake a smile. "Lor, I know you, something's up." Does he have some kind of telepathy?

"No – heh – nothing's up. Guess your ESP is actually ESPN." Chris rolls his eyes. I sigh. He knows. Well, he doesn't know know, but he can read me. "Luke has a kid and I just found out and it – it took me by surprise is all," I say as lightly as possible. Chris squints at me as he sizes me up.

"You're upset that Luke has a kid? You have Rory."

"Yes, well, he found out a few months ago and he just told me yesterday," I explain. Shit, I told him. He's still staring at me. Do I have to tell him everything? It was bad enough talking to Rory about this. "He lied and I got mad. I shouldn't have but I did. And then – and then he postponed the wedding."

"Really?" Surprisingly, Chris doesn't even sound happy about that. I sigh and walk over to the couch and sit down. Chris follows, sitting down next to me. "Sorry to hear about that Lor."

"Me too," I say sadly. I really wanted this. Things were going well and I thought – I thought this was it for me. Chris rubs my knee.

"That sucks Lor." He pulls my head to his shoulder and I feel him kiss my head. I really miss Chris sometimes. I've known him since I was six. He's always been there for me whenever something happened.

I sit up and look at him. "I'm glad you're here, Chris." He nods, smiling softly.

After a moment, he reaches into his coat and pulls out a bottle of rum and offers it to me.

"You were totally holding out on me!" I exclaim and take the bottle. The rum feels hot and spicy as I swallow it. More than anything, I just want to open my mouth and down the whole bottle, but I'm not sure that would be the best idea. So after a few drinks, I hand the bottle back to Chris.

He takes a drink, a smile coming over his face. Next thing I know he's kissing me. His lips feel soft and warm and familiar against mine. As much as I try to give in to this, I mean it is Chris, my entire body is revolting against this turn of events. Finally, I seize control of myself and pull away.

"Chris!" I yell as I stand up. Anything, anything to get away from him. "What were you – this is – Chris!"

"Sorry, Lor, I just – sorry," he says. Oh Chris, if you only knew.

"No," I say, flopping back down on the couch. "It's not your fault."

"Lorelai, can I ask you a question?" I look at him expectantly, wondering what I earth could be going on inside his head. "Are you still getting married?" Suddenly I remember the ring on my finger and I look down at it. It feels heavy on my hand and it's lost the luster that used to make it shine. I sigh.

"I – I don't…" I shake my head, letting him know I'm not finishing this thought. How much did I want this? Since the day I proposed to Luke, everything has been so wonderful for us. He was always by my side and I knew in my heart he'd be there forever. And now, everything's different. "I don't think he wants to marry me anymore." My voice shakes as I say that and I know if I keep thinking about this, I'm going to cry.

"Then what is wrong with me kissing you, Lor?" I look up at Chris and all I can see is want and desire in his eyes. What have I done?

"Chris, we're finished."

"Because of Sherry and Gigi?"

"No, because… because of you. Chris, for years I probably dreamed of this moment, but I grew up."

"And then we thought about getting together."

"No Chris, I wasn't grown up yet. We were young when we were together. When Rory was conceived. And we were still young when we thought about getting back together before Sherry told you about Gigi. We were just young. I never grew up after having Rory, I was still 16 at heart. Completely immature." I rub my head and I stand up, walking around the room. "I'm not 16 anymore. I'm an adult. And who I love as an adult is not the same as who I loved as a child."

"I see."

"Do you get it Chris? I know you've changed. I know having Gigi has made you grow up. Don't you see what I'm saying. It's not Molly Ringwald days anymore." Chris nods.

"No, I get what you're saying, Lor." He stands, putting the rum back in his coat pocket. I hurt Chris by explaining this, but I know it's true. And he would have realized it eventually. I know I'm never going to love anyone but Luke for the rest of my life and until yesterday I thought it was going to be me and Luke forever. But now… I don't think he loves me anymore. I don't think he wants to be with me. "I'm going to get going," Chris says. No…

If Chris leaves it's just going to be me. And Paul Anka. Just me here alone. Forever. And my 'special alone space'.

"Can you take me somewhere on your way?"

"Sure, Lore, where?"

"The airport. I'm going to go to the airport," I decide. Chris watches me for a moment and then nods. I'm still not sure where I'm going but I can't handle Stars Hallow without Luke again, without me and Luke again. I don't want to deal with my mother's happiness about this and I just can't deal with this. "Can you?"

"Sure, go get your things and we'll get out of here."

---------------------------------------------

After Rory called this evening, I continued business at the diner as usual, pretending that everything was all right. I still can't stop thinking about what Rory said. And at the same time, I can't stop thinking about the day I've just spent with April. And at the same time I can't stop thinking about my last conversation with Lorelai.

We talked last night at the festival. She told me she understood about April. Something about Gina and Gabe or some weird people like that. I really don't know where she comes up with these things sometimes. But it's cute. And she smiles when she comes up with something I don't know, a smile that could make anyone light up inside. Anyways, she said she understood. I believed her, I mean she wouldn't lie. Never again.

I was just confused. All of this is happening so fast. April, Lorelai, Rory, Liz, the house, the wedding, the soccer team. Everything. And I can't do it all. I'm not that kind of a person. I hate spontaneity. I'm Luke Danes, I don't do that.

So when Lorelai suggested that we postpone the wedding, I agreed. It was just one thing I could put aside for a few months while I figured everything else out. Just so you know, I do want to get married. More than anything. But I figure, things are going so well for us. I don't know I needed to clear my plate just a bit and it was the first offer so I took it.

But then Rory called. "You realize Mom's not okay with this, right Luke?" she asked. No, actually, I hadn't thought about it. Lorelai went home with Rory after our conversation and called me later to say that she couldn't come over, she'd see me tonight. I didn't even think that she was unhappy. I didn't listen that carefully. What am I, some kind of idiot? I don't listen to my girlfriend when she's telling me something, not voiced telling, but read between the lines telling.

"Luke, don't ruin this. Don't do this to her. Don't let her hurt. If you care for her, Luke, don't do this," Rory warned me.

Yes, I am that idiot.

So after I close the diner, I head over to Lorelai's house. It's late and if she had really meant it when she said she'd come over, she'd have been here by now. I suppose if Rory hadn't called, this would be my clue. If' I wasn't an ignoramus, I would have been clued in earlier.

As I walk over to her house, my thoughts dwell on Lorelai. Her bright shining eyes. Her brilliant smile. Her touch. Her voice. How she makes me laugh. How she makes me smile. How she turns me on with her every movement, her every look.

Her house is dark. Oh God, her house is dark.

And I'm done. All my thoughts of Lorelai disappear as her house comes into view. I'm up on her porch in front of her door within seconds. "Lorelai!" I yell banging on the door. It's 11:00 at night. She's not at her house. She's not at my place. Where the hell is she?

"Lorelai!" I yell. Wait a second, this is Lorelai Gilmore I'm talking about. My hand goes immediately to the door knob. I jiggle it a few times. It's locked. Lorelai Gilmore, who has never locked her front door in her life, decided today, of all days, to shut the world out. Shit.

Glancing over at the porch swing I see something glittering on it. I walk over and pick up the engagement ring and a note telling me to feed the dog. I finger the engagement ring, watching it glitter for a moment. I remember when I picked out

And so I sit down on her porch to wait. Wait for what? I don't know. But she'll come home eventually. She has to.


	2. Chapter 2

The airport is extremely hot, or at least it seems like that me. Or cold. I'm not quite sure. Christopher tried to come inside the airport with me but I somehow convinced him I could get on the plane by myself. It was bad enough having to listen to him in the car go on and on about how I never explained to him the difference between adolescent Lorelai and adult Lorelai. I'm sorry, but did I need to send him a memo about this?

So here I am. In the airport. I sling my bag over my shoulder and walk over to the Continental Airlines counter. This bag seems heavy considering that I have no idea what I threw into it, other than some random clothes, my toothbrush, a picture of Rory and a picture of Luke and a pair of earrings and a necklace Luke once bought for me.

"Can I help you?" the charming lady behind the counter calls. I hand her my driver's license and credit card. "Where would you be flying tonight?" Well this is something I didn't think about. I guess I must have thought I was just going to get on a plane and it would fly me to a random city. Good going, Gilmore, I think for the second time tonight.

"Topeka," I say. Topeka? I remember once telling Rory I thought it was the silliest city name in the world. "Topeka. Kansas." What are you going to do in Topeka, Lorelai, other than hang out with Toto and the Scarecrow? No time for these questions, just get the ticket and go.

The lady takes a bunch of random information. She slides my credit card through and checks my bag. Then she hands me a boarding pass that says the plane in boarding in fifteen minutes. Well, that was fast. I smile at her, grab my purse and head towards the gate.

As I'm walking towards my destination, Luke's face pops into my mine. I will never forget his face the day we broke up. Standing in Doose's, yelling at him that I want a middle, and his face. Oh his face. I hurt him so much that night. Suddenly my knees feel weak.

I sit down in the closest chair to me, just thinking. Is this my fault? Is that pain, that is almost certainly on his face right now, caused be me? Oh Lorelai, what have you done? I'm rubbing my forehead now, the pain in throbbing in my head.

Stop it Lorelai, this isn't your fault. He's the one who didn't tell you! He's the one who tried to hide things! He's the one who postponed the wedding! He's the one who doesn't – he doesn't… I can feel the tears form in my eyes.

"Excuse me?" I hear someone say. I look up and there's a tall thin man staring at me. "I'm sorry, it's just that this is a shoe shine station and I don't think you want your shoes shined." I glance down at my shoes, pondering this.

"No, thanks," I say, forcing a smile. "Sorry, I'm in your way." And as I think about getting up from where I'm sitting, something about the man reminds me of someone, someone comfortable. "Can I ask you something?" He glances over at me.

"Shoot."

"If he says he wants to postpone the wedding, does that mean he never really wanted to get married? Or that he doesn't love me?" The man stares at me for a moment. Sighing, he sits down in the chair next to me.

"Your boyfriend broke up with you?" Broke up! Is he kidding me? I didn't say that! Luke would never, he wouldn't, oh no, but he didn't. He didn't break up with me.

"No!" I glare at the man for a moment.

"Sorry, I'll go back to what I was doing." He stands and goes back to putting things away.

"No, sorry. It's… Can I ask you? Are you married?" He glances back at me.

"I was. She moved out last year." Good going, Gilmore. Three times, man this is a real habit with you now.

"Oh, uh, sorry."

"No, it's okay. She cheated on me, so I'm over it." I nod. It could always be worse. He sits back down in the chair next to me. "Okay, I can tell that this is going to take awhile. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, I'll respond and then you can leave and I can close up?" I smile.

"My fiancé…" I glance down at my hand, remembering that the ring is back on my porch swing. "We were getting married. Things were going so well. And then I find out that he had a daughter he never knew about. She's twelve. I found out because I happened to see her at his work. I mean he never told me! He goes on and on about how we have to tell each other everything and then he does this. I mean, is this some kind of sick prank? I'm all about jokes and pranks but this is too much." The man nods. I think he's wondering if he should interrupt and say something but I can't stop going in the middle of a rant. "So I talked to my daughter. She convinced me that Luke and I are just like Gwen and Gavin so I told Luke that and that I could learn to deal with April. He just still seemed so frustrated. And then he said it, he said we should postpone the wedding. Postpone! I mean sure I had done all the planning, but what guy does plan his own wedding unless he's a metro or something. He kept going on about how this is all so fast and he was frustrated so when he asked if I was okay with it, I said yes. Yeah, I know, I broke the rule, I lied, but hey he broke it first! He was all about postponing the wedding. And if that's the first thing that came to mind, I don't know, it just made me think that he didn't really want to get married in the first place. He doesn't really love me." The tears sting my eyes as I say the last sentence.

"I'm sure he wouldn't have proposed if he didn't love you," the man says, patting my knee.

"He didn't. I proposed."

"Oh," the man replies, shocked, removing his hand from my knee. "Ma'am, I can't give you the right answer here." Wow, big help. "You want my advice?" Not really anymore, but I'll listen, so I nod. "You're at the airport, so you must be leaving. Don't. Don't do it. Go talk to him, find out what you want to know."

"Thanks, Cher." He looks at me like I'm crazy. Some people have no knowledge of pop culture. "It's in his kiss? Shoop shoop," I say, doing a little of the arm movement. "Forget it."

"Forgotten." We stare at each other for a moment. He's a smart man, this shoe shiner.

"Thanks." I say, standing up. We shake hands and I walk away. To go call a cab, to go find Luke, to find out what I want to know.

-------------------------------------------------

The sun wakes me up in the morning. I should be thankful that it isn't Babette waking me up, finding me on Lorelai's porch. That could have been very bad. As I rub my face, waking myself up, I think about breaking in to feed Paul Anka. She'll kill me if I let the damn dog die. She'll break up with me. Then of course, I realize fingering the ring in my pocket, she has already.

All right Luke, get off your butt and go to work. Personally, I hope it burnt down last night. I'll go back to the diner and call her. Call her. I am an idiot. Why didn't I call her last night? Why? I'll tell you why? Because I am an idiot.

I get up and walk quickly to the diner. I open the door and find Caesar on the phone in the diner. "Caesar!" He glances over at me. "What are you doing?"

"I had a break and I needed to check on my grandmother." He has a grandmother? He has a family? Why do I suddenly care?

"Fine, you've got three minutes while I go upstairs and change and if you're still on the phone we may have to reenact Hansel and Gretel." With that I head up the stairs to my apartment.

Okay, Luke, you need a plan. Call her. Beg. Grovel. Call Rory. Beg. Grovel. There, good list. I open the door of my apartment intending to go straight to the phone and call her but I glance around as I'm on my way and I stop. She's there. On the bed. Fast asleep. And I have to stop and think. Was she there when I left yesterday? Could I have possibly missed her?

Lorelai rolls over, squinting as the sun wakes her up. "Mmmmm…" she moans. God she's beautiful. She leans up on her elbow and looks at me. "Luke?" she asks, in her still sleepy voice. "Have you been here for awhile?"

"No, I just got back. Have you been here all night?" She shrugs. Not really an answer.

"Where were you all night?" she asks.

"On your porch." She sits up, suddenly awake.

"Oh, so you saw – the note – you saw the note." She slowly stands up.

"Yeah, I saw the note, but I didn't feed the dog. You locked the door."

"Oh." She seems surprised, so I let that go. "I should…"

"He'll be fine for a little while," I insist. I really have no clue, what do I know about dogs? But Paul Anka's a big dog and he's got a mind of his own. He could probably figure out how to feed himself. She nods, hands on hips, looking down at the ground. "Where were you last night?" Lorelai hesitates, looking up at me.

"At the airport." She was leaving? Without telling me? This is so much worse than I thought.

"Where were you going?" She shrugs.

"I don't know, away. But I couldn't go. I couldn't leave without coming back here. But you weren't here, you were on my porch." Ah, it's becoming clearer. And maybe it's not as bad as I thought.

"I found this too." I take the ring out of my pocket and lay it on the table. She stares at it for a moment and I think for a moment that her eyes glisten with tears.

"I, yeah, I was giving it back to you." So she really meant to do this. All I want to do right now is shake her and make her realize that I would do anything for her. She knows that!

"Are you out?" I ask.

"No, you are. You may not have said it, but I know that you wanted out. You don't want to get married."

"When did I say this?" She puts on her haughty face and acts surprised that I could say such a thing.

"Yesterday! God, Luke!"

"I didn't say that, Lorelai! I said okay when you suggested that we postpone the wedding. I never said I didn't want to marry you!"

"Do you? Do you want to marry me? You were so quick to say yes to the suggestion that we postpone the wedding, I just figured. I figured you didn't know how to tell me that you didn't want to get married."

"You think I didn't want to get married all along?" She nods. Where on earth is this coming from? "I said yes."

"I know, Luke, but I proposed. I did. Maybe you just said yes to pacify me." This is craziness.

"I bought the ring. I searched for the perfect one without having to ask which one you liked best." She looks down. I'd better say something fast or I'm going to lose her. "I want to marry you Lorelai. I want you to be mine and know that I'm yours for the rest of out lives." I walk over to her while I'm saying this until I'm standing right in front of her. "I want you to belong to me like a gift for me everyday of my life. I want to wake up with you by my side in the morning and I want to go to bed with you at night."

"Dirty," she comments. Looking up at me and grinning wickedly. Okay, this is better.

"I'm sorry I postponed the wedding. I've changed my mind I want to get married as soon as possible, right now if that's possible. Whatever you want, Lorelai, whatever will make you happy. I love you Lorelai." With that she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my lips to hers, kissing me softly and then more passionately. She is amazing. I give in eagerly, letting my hands wander over her back.

After a few minutes of this, she pulls back. "I'm glad you said that." I smile and I'm relieved. "Get the ring on my finger, buster, cuz we're getting married." I stare into her deep blue eyes for a moment, wondering, my brain going places it shouldn't.

"Don't do this for me. Don't do this because I said I love you."

"I'm not. I'm doing this because I love you," she answers, perfectly. I reach over and pick the ring off the table. As I put it back on her finger, I pull her back by the waist and kiss her like I never have before. We belong together and we will be together forever. We're all in now. And everything is perfect.

--

A/N: Please review! Let me know that you like stories where Luke is alive!


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